Dreams Make Us Human
by tam0tsu
Summary: Death teaches all living things how to let go of some of the most painful sacrifices and grow from Yes, he wanted them to grow from his As he lay broken and bleeding on the cold ground, Angeal wanted them to learn from his mistakes and become better than he ever was; that he could never have


**Dreams Make Us Human**

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The sunset must have been beautiful for the world to look like he was gazing at a gorgeous painting. The never-ending sky was a blending confusion of red and orange, with at least five different shades of purplish clouds, swimming into his view ever so slowly. He could imagine the black shapes of mountains that were usually portrayed in scenery paintings, contrasting with the yellow glow of the sun trekking behind. He wanted to turn his head to see what the descending ball of light must look like to create such a breath-taking sky, but he couldn't. His body wouldn't allow this tiny wish. He couldn't believe what was happening to him, after all.

He was dying.

The dreadful thought seemed to shake him out of his dream-like trance for a moment, suddenly aware of the reality he was in, and it was enough time to hear a voice calling out to him. He knew this voice. It was so familiar, and yet, foreign to his ears as he tried to put a face to the choked sobs near his form. It was hard, he admitted, trying to familiarize these cries with ones he may have heard from the past, but he hadn't. He'd never heard this person cry. Sure, he whined like a five-year-old, but he was never pushed to tears. Well, not in front of him. It was like he couldn't. In a way, it was like this young man was incapable of feeling remorse. Knowing this, he willed his body to do the impossible and at least look at the owner of those unforgiving sobs he'd wish he'd never hear, nor be the cause of. Gaia had to at least grant him this. He didn't want the last thing he heard to be the agonizing grief of what was like a son to him.

Yet, here he was, Zack Fair crying beside his fallen form.

"Angeal…" The nineteen-year-old boy choked, horrified blue eyes trained on his through the wall of tears.

He forced a smile toward his pupil, hoping the sincerity he wanted to show would reveal in his weakened features. It'll be alright, he wanted to say. Everything will be okay, he needed to reassure, but the words wouldn't come out. How frustrating it was to not be in control of your own body. However, a part of him knew it wasn't his body that prevented him from saying those comforting words. His mind knew that nothing was alright, and everything wouldn't be okay. He was leaving the boy who had become a man in front of his very own eyes in a world that wanted to hurt him, that wanted him to bleed. No. Don't think like that. He was different. They both weren't like him and the others.

They weren't monsters.

As if his thoughts had materialized in front of him, another boy barely sauntered into his view. He stood a safe distance behind Zack, maybe even further than he should have, but he knew it was out of respect. No, maybe a little bit of fear had something to do with it, too. He could understand. A person's dying moment was very delicate. The boy didn't want to ruin whatever precious time they had. Still, he wished his pupil's friend would come closer. To at least give him a moment to see his student stand with his best and only real friend, that was all he could ask for, now. Unfortunately, he couldn't with the condition he was in, and he'd have to bear with that for the rest of whatever life he had left.

Suddenly, the blond figured moved. He extended his arm out toward them, as if to somehow reach out and touch them through the distance. After a few seconds, the arm pulled back, hand clenched in front of his chest, instead. The blond mass of hair lowered then, bowing to hide what must've been sadness lingering on his features. It was odd, though. The stance he held now resembled a lot like Zack's when he held his sword in front of him. It was also the same stance that his pupil had copied from himself when he held his Buster Sword in front of his form before raging into a fight with his fellow gang members.

His blurred vision moved toward his pupil. Surprisingly enough, his student was holding his arm in the same stance, clenching the buster sword—passed down onto him as a parting gift—and in front of his chest. Cloud must have copied his form, despite the older being hunched and shaken with tears. Still, it was a more captivating scene than any sky he'd ever seen.

Cloud.

He remembered talking to him once.

"Angeal!" Zack had pled in his memories. His face held more liveliness than any child he'd seen then, and it didn't help that he was getting away with his plan. "Come on, I'm entrusting you with my best friend, here. It won't take long. You know I have to do that job with Sephiroth and I know you know that he's quick with our missions. I'll be back before you know it!"

"Zack, he's old enough to watch himself. I don't see the point in—"

"'Kay, thanks, love you, bye!"

He remembered it like he could with the back of his hand. Zack had left him in care of his roommate; deserting them at an abandoned playground they usually sparred by. He didn't know why his pupil had set up such a ridiculous plan, since he'd only met the so-called "best friend" through photographs Zack frequently snuck, but it must have been important to the teen, regardless. The boy in question hadn't said anything the whole time during their exchange, and just stood near the SOLDIER gang leader, watching Zack's form disappear into the shadows between some buildings.

"I'm sorry." The blond had finally said, completely flat and utterly disappointingly. "I don't know why he did that, either."

The older man could only nod and politely reassure him that it was alright. He didn't mind, really. He didn't have any type of work to do at the moment and could settle for the company if the boy was willing. He wouldn't force it on him, though. "Zack probably mentioned it to you beforehand, but I'm Angeal Hewley."

"Cloud Strife." He returned with a slight nod. He paused for a moment, but decided to voice his thought a second later. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Are you and Zack…really gangsters?" He blurted out, hesitant in his sudden boldness from what the older man had guessed then. He decided to save himself from the possibly offensive question—something the elder found amusing since he wasn't at all offended by the innocent question—and quickly exclaimed, "He doesn't tell me anything besides being part of a gang and having you as his mentor."

He hummed at that. While he knew Zack's loyalty in the gang would be true, it was still a surprise that he—being the chatterbox he was—would keep such tempting stories from the younger male, practically a stranger, yet already claimed as a "best friend", still. He didn't know all the details (eventually, he would), but he had heard from his student that Cloud had been homeless for months on end until Zack had generously picked him up and offered whatever he could for the boy. It wasn't much of a surprise for the mentor, since he, himself, had taken the pup off the streets as well, but he hadn't expected Zack to grow so attached to the blond in such a short time. Members of their SOLDIER gang were drilled to keep their association with the group a secret to ensure the safety of themselves and their loved ones. Zack must've seen something in Cloud that willed him to share his decent apartment, yet refrain from endangering the kid with information dangerous people would kill for. What was it, though? The familiarity of Zack's idea with his own made his lip turn upright into a fond smile.

"Cloud, what are your dreams?"

"Excuse me?" Cloud tilted his head, confusion washed up in his clear blue eyes. He had taken to seating himself on the platform of the playground behind them, swinging his legs to busy himself. However, the question pulled the boy into a stop, his attention focused solely on Angeal. "I don't understand, sir."

The man somewhat expected this, though he was surprised at how stumped Cloud seemed to be about his choice of topic. "Didn't Zack talk to you about dreams?" He decided to prod further.

Like a light bulb, much to the gang member's relief, Cloud's face suddenly lit up in recognition. He looked away from the man, resuming to kicking his feet through air. "Oh. Yeah, Zack talks about being a hero. He says it almost every day."

Angeal could imagine his pupil saying it, too. He shook his head in amusement and took to looking up at the metal plate blocking what would be the blue sky. He kept his smile regardless. "To be in SOLDIER, you need to have dreams…and honor." He recited. He could feel Cloud's gaze on him now, boring into the side of his head with intense curiosity. "All members of our group are taught to have them, especially Zack. However, it's not limited to just our title. You need to have dreams and honor to be successful in anything you do."

Cloud didn't say anything for a while. The gang leader could only assume he was digesting the words into his brain, calculating a response to it. From what he had been informed so far, Cloud was currently fourteen, two years younger than Zack. He remembered talking about dreams and honor with his pupil when he was the same age, yet instead of thinking about his lecture like Cloud was, Zack only managed to bombard him with more idiotic questions. This certainly was a different experience.

Finally, Cloud spoke up. "What if…I don't have any dreams?" Angeal looked up at him, then, but was met with the side of the kid's head as he stared at the distance this time. "Dreams only go so far. I don't understand why Zack's okay with reciting it every day like it's going to come true like that." He grew silent then and Angeal took it as he was finished, but was immediately surprised when the boy decided to continue, more frustrated. "I came to Midgar to make something of myself. After what happened to her…I knew I needed to get stronger. I had to get stronger to keep our promise. I may have believed in dreams back then, but…" He trailed off then. Angeal wondered if he remembered who he was talking to again, because Cloud suddenly shot his attention back toward him, ready to apologize but nothing came. At this, the older man raised a hand to silence him. He did.

"You're right." Angeal nodded, dropping his hand. "Dreams do only get us so far." He was amazed, really, hearing that coming out of his mouth. Zack had never really questioned his beliefs with such doubt, nor did any of their other members. Cloud was a stranger, one he'd only just met today, and he seemed to deny the inspiration most children his age seemed to feed off of. Something dire must have occurred for such a child to lose that sense for the unimaginable. He stepped away from the playground and grasped the hilt of his all too familiar blade. In one easy swoop, he held it out in front of him, for even the goddess to see. "Dreams give us a sense of hope, though. They make us human. That's why we do it. We're weak without aspirations and lost without goals. It may seem childish for adults to have dreams, but…I've seen grown men die wishing they had fulfilled them." He turned to Cloud then, ignoring whatever judgmental gaze the boy had on him. "You don't have to have one now, but maybe you will find your own dream someday. You have potential, Cloud Strife, don't count yourself out, yet."

For a long time, neither person said anything and just resumed to stare at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Angeal took it as his cue to place his Buster weapon back onto his back. He looked up at the sound of sneakers hitting the pavement, and watched curiously as Cloud straightened himself into a stand from the jump he performed. He seemed to have a puzzled look in his stare. Before Angeal could ask what was on the kid's mind, Cloud spoke up.

"How can you hold that thing?"

It took quite an effort not to lose his legging at the very random question, Angeal had to admit. He raised an eyebrow and darted his eyes from Cloud's to the hilt of his sword. Suddenly, he found himself amused by the rather random choice of topic. "I…may not look the part, but I am a leader of SOLDIER." He crossed his arms, a smirk escaping his features.

Cloud seemed to jolt at the statement like it burned, probably remembering his place again. His cheeks flushed quite quickly after that and he turned his head sideways, scratching the back of his neck weakly. "Sorry." He muttered.

Angeal nodded in acknowledgment. The way Cloud seemed to be shy about his faults reminded him of Zack again, which forced him to forgive the kid right away. He wouldn't admit that, though. That'd make him look soft. He had a reputation to keep after all and Cloud wasn't going to be any exception, especially with how easily the boy seemed to speak to one of the most feared gangsters in SOLDIER. No, that wouldn't do at all. He frowned. "Cloud, drop and give me ten."

Bewildered, Cloud made a face. "Excuse—"

"That's an order. Give me twenty."

"But you said—"

"Thirty."

"I—"

"Forty. Say another word and I'll make it fifty push-ups."

Angeal watched in guilty amusement when Cloud seemed to freeze on the spot, dumbfounded and much like a deer in some very bright headlights to be more precise. Normally, had any recruits ever given him that kind of look, he'd send the kid running laps all around Midgar and begging to stop. However, as Zack's reliable babysitter, he decided to overlook it this time.

Finally, Cloud seemed to understand the seriousness of the situation that Angeal was ordering him into and dropped ungracefully to his knees. He stole one last frustrated look at the man, got into position and began his first set of exercises. Unfortunately, little did he know, Cloud was going to get slaughtered in criticisms over his form like some gymnasium dancer by yours truly.

"Arms need to spread out wider."

"Don't bend your knees, Cloud."

"Use your arms to lift you up, not your shoulders."

"Don't forget to breath."

"You are keeping count, ri—"

"Fifty!" Cloud practically screamed once he finished his mental count of push-ups. As soon as the word left his lungs, he dropped his whole body flat onto the ground, uncaring if his damp cheek was collecting whatever dirt lay beneath him. He heaved deep breaths and gasped for polluted air. Angeal wondered if the boy was surprised at how exhausted he'd become after only doing push-ups. He could imagine the boy pondering on the realization that he may be more unfit than he first thought.

"You did well for an un-recruited SOLDIER." Angeal decided to reward him with a satisfied nod. He waited patiently as Cloud pulled his body up from the pavement and stood tiredly in front of his friend's mentor. Once Cloud seemed to be able to focus on him, he continued. "Like I said before, you have potential, Cloud." He offered a small smile and decided to give him some comfort in his next words. "Don't count yourself out, okay?"

Cloud seemed taken aback by the unusually kind-hearted words from the man who just ordered him to do exercises. After a moment, the boy nodded and looked down at the ground, his eyes having a faint glow in them Angeal hadn't seen earlier. "Thank you…sir."

For the rest of the afternoon, the two talked about nothing in particular. Having broken through their awkward barriers, Angeal was glad that Cloud seemed more open to talk about himself than in the beginning of their conversations. He learned that Cloud was a country boy just like Zack, and that he liked exploring unfamiliar places during his spare time. Cloud also mentioned that he didn't have many—though Angeal assumed he meant 'any'—friends back home, which made it easier for him to come to Midgar to become stronger, as he intended. Angeal couldn't help but share some of his own stories, which mainly consisted of Zack and his mischievous deeds, and it felt rather nice. It was after two hours of story-telling that Angeal realized why Zack seemed to be so interested in Cloud.

"Despite what you may think of yourself, I think you're a very strong person, Cloud." Angeal smiled and nodded toward the fourteen-year-old who had re-seated himself on the playground's platform. "I'm glad Zack found himself a good friend."

Cloud gaped at the sudden compliments and just stared at the man. "Uh…" He looked down at his feet, not quite focusing on them entirely. "Thanks."

Angeal smirked at the display of shyness, again. "…And I'm sure with more push-ups, you'll be even stronger."

Cloud turned his head ever so slightly in the gangster's direction and threw a playful glare at him, grinning. "Hey."

Angeal laughed at this and moved towards the boy. Once he was standing in front of him, the older of the two raised his arm and flicked his head towards it. "A friend of Zack's is a friend of mine. I hope you find your dream, Cloud, and when you do, hold on to it with honor."

Cloud frowned at the arm, digesting the words once more with a thoughtful expression. And much like when he finished his push-ups, there was a faint glow in the blue orbs of his eyes. After some time, he looked straight into the SOLDIER's eyes and nodded, as if agreeing to do what he asked. Finally, he raised his right arm and lightly tapped it against Angeal's left, finishing the handshake meant for comrades and brothers in arms.

Angeal nodded slowly, an appreciative smile growing on his own face. As he lowered his arm, he heard faint footsteps approaching and identified them as Zack's right away. He didn't dare break his locked gaze with Cloud the entire time he stood like that, though, hoping that this was giving the boy enough reason to not give up on himself now that he had another friend in his new life here at Midgar. Granted, Angeal was a lot older and may not be the ideal person to go to for certain problems only people near his age—like Zack—can help solve, but he was more than willing to help this stranger, his new friend, who wasn't part of his gang of brothers, but didn't need to be, nonetheless.

"Hey, guys! Did I miss anything?! Cloud, he didn't lecture you on dreams and honor and embracing them, did he?!"

Cloud was the first to break the staring contest. He looked up and above the man's head to see his friend running through the deserted street towards them. Angeal didn't mind. He, himself, lowered his gaze to the boy's knees, a faint smile escaping his features, before he turned to greet his student. By then, he wiped all previous emotions off from his face except for a stern frown and an expectant look in his gaze. Zack slowed his pace at seeing this, tensing at the change of atmosphere.

"What? I'm just kidding—"

"The next time you need me to do something for you, I expect you to tell me one week in advance. Am I clear, Zack?" For better effect, he narrowed his eyes just slightly.

Zack frowned, darting his head from Angeal to Cloud and then back several times. It seemed like he was trying to guess whether leaving the two of his friends alone was a good idea or not. A million possible scenarios were probably running through his mind, calculating which one fit better than the rest to lead up to this unexpected predicament. Angeal almost felt bad for confusing his pupil into thinking his and Cloud's time together went horribly wrong. Almost. Finally, Zack quirked an eyebrow and kept his attention on Angeal. "Is something wrong…?"

"No, there isn't anything wrong." Angeal turned his whole body toward the pup and crossed his arms. "Well, not for us." He jerked his head towards Cloud's direction, clarifying on who the 'us' were. "For the stunt you pulled on me and Cloud two and a half hours ago, I'm assigning you on a mission."

"What?! You can't be serious!"

"You want to try me?" Angeal narrowed his eyes further. He resisted the urge to smirk as Zack seemed to snap his mouth shut, while Cloud's gaping gaze was boring into the back of his head. No, he can't let Cloud think that he was a push over for Zack. His student knew better than to try. "I want you to safely escort Cloud to your apartment and learn a thing or two from him. I also expect you to train him to know some self-defense as long as he is staying with you. Understood?"

"Wait…that's it?" Zack furrowed his eyebrows, confused by the unusual order. Before Angeal could glare at him further, the sixteen-year-old snapped out of his confusion and saluted. "Yes, sir!" A smile finally graced his lips as he winked at Cloud playfully from Angeal's assumption.

"Alright, then." Angeal nodded, a smirk revealing itself, as well. He turned to Cloud then, a softer smile in his direction, but still filled with authority of a leader. "Remember what I said, Cloud. I hope to be seeing you again."

Cloud nodded at this, his eyes still filled with surprise and a little bit of amazement. "Yes, sir. I won't forget. Uh, thank you."

Angeal nodded one last time and patted the boy's knee, before he made his way toward Zack, who was conflicted between approaching on his own or waiting for permission. He couldn't help but shake his head and ruffle the black spikes of hair once he got close enough. "He's a good kid, like you said."

Zack grinned through the mess of his hair, relief shown in his dipped posture. "Told ya, right?"

Angeal chuckled in response. He didn't know for sure, since it was only one meeting, but Zack and Cloud had a healthy friendship so far. He was glad that Cloud was there for Zack to focus on when he wasn't working day in and day out. It gave the kid he wanted to save from the streets a chance to still have a life outside their dangerous world. Cloud was his thread of connection at still being human amongst a group who gave up on most of society.

He remembered Zack approaching him a few months later and telling him of Cloud's newfound dream.

He wanted to join SOLDIER, he said.

He wanted to be strong like us, he hoped.

Angeal couldn't lie when he felt conflicted about that. Then again, he felt the same when Zack desired the same goal at Cloud's age. Had his pup said no then, Angeal would've gladly shut out his gang life from him and given him the normal life he couldn't have. Had Cloud said no, Zack would've probably done the same and Angeal could've—would've—held them back from the monsters that all SOLDIERs became once they had no means of going back. However, he couldn't stop them. They weren't his children. He was there to train men into suitable warriors, not raise them to become another killer's innocent victims. They also had the freedom to pursue their own dreams. So, he didn't say anything except smile and nod. He just had to believe in his own words and help Cloud along the way.

Gaea, is his death really going to help him?

He wanted to think it would. A person's death usually carved reality into the witnesses dear to them. It showed how cruel life can be, sometimes. It showed that not everything lasts forever, and that once a person is gone, you can't get them back. Death teaches all living things how to let go of some of the most painful sacrifices and grow from it. Yes, he wanted them to grow from his experiences. As he lay broken and bleeding on the cold ground, Angeal wanted them to learn from his mistakes and become better than he ever was; that he could never have been.

He stared at the man-made glow of Zack Fair's blue eyes, watching him, pleading for the end to never come. In time, he knew his student would recover and his eyes would return to their lively selves, burning with passion and maybe even more strength he'd never get to see. No, don't think about that. Almost unwillingly, he tore his gaze away from Zack's and looked at the sorrowful, dull blue orbs that belonged to Cloud Strife, which could shine like the sky he'd seen in paintings when it wanted to. It would in time, too. After a period of healing, Cloud will see this experience as more than a burden and a heart-wrenching loss, but more of an appreciative memory that he, at least, had someone to call friend, at all. He smiled at the air and turned his gaze one last time toward the vibrant sky in front of him, before closing his eyes and preparing for his last breath.

Suddenly, the view didn't seem to compare to the figures near his dying form.

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**A/N:** Sorry if this was a little confusing. I had an idea, a big one, but upon a drabble request, I made this based off that idea. It kind of just sat there for weeks, so I thought posting it wouldn't harm anyone. If this made you feel something, even just a little, then I'm happy.


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